Acrobaticsexpert

Dear Vudes and Tus,

Legit the strangest thing happened to me yesterday. I was doing my daily Jujitsu routine during my shift at Pep Boys. I learned a new method that instructs me to perform my flipping exercises on the roof of a car, so I was practicing this method. The mechanic who was working on the car was a woman (even though a car is a bit more complex than the modern day sandwich). She had been in a rush that morning and forgot to put on her undergarments. I went to the bathroom and forgot to zip up my fly. On my third quadruple-corkscrew-front flip, I slipped on motor oil and fell off the car. Oddly enough, I entered her and she says she's pregnant. All jokes aside, I probably deserve like a man of the year award or something. But seriously, what kind of rules apply here.

Sincerely,

Acrobaticsexpert

Dear Acrobaticsexpert,

Since you didn't specify whether you had any familial relation to the woman, I'll cover that as well. If you weren't related to her, you would be obligated for damages, hospital bills, lost wages, and pain. However, you aren't obligated to pay for her embarrassment, because you only pay for that when you have intent to do the action. For argument's sake, let's say she was married to your brother, who just died. You would have to marry her* and perform Yibum, but this accident would not count for that.

This case is similar to an earlier one we received about the same thing happening, but with two men (not sexual). In that case, if it was expected that the man would fall, he is obligated for damages, pain, hospital bills, and lost wages, but not embarrassment. This is because it was pretty close to on purpose, but he still didn't have intention to do the act. However, if it wasn't expected that he would fall, he is only obligated for damages.

Stay Safe!

Vudes and Tus

*Just for more info: If you didn't want to marry her, she would have to spit in your new boots. This is called Chalitza.